Three Point Play — Melo the Bull, The Brow and the Mysterious Disappearance of Enes Kanter

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Beggars can’t be choosers.

He’s back, and that’s what really matters, I suppose. But it is just so darn unsatisfying!

Look at it this way — let’s say you have a favorite food, one that you’ve had an unending supply of, and never tire of enjoying. Then one day, it’s gone and you can’t find more, no matter how hard you try or where you look. Anywhere. And your cravings are increasing in intensity.

We’ll use chocolate as an example. I happen to have a sweet tooth, and one of my guilty pleasures is enjoying chocolate for dessert or as a late-night snack I shouldn’t have — you get the idea. Now if I were to come home one night and find that the world’s supply of chocolate had dried up, it would be a real bummer. I’d complain a lot, and try to find some sort of substitute, knowing deep down that no such thing existed.

Occasionally I might read about, or see on TV, a report hinting at chocolate’s imminent return. The first couple of times I get excited, only to have my hopes dashed when it doesn’t come to pass. Eventually I learn to live with my chocolate deprivation, and life moves on. Albeit a far less enjoyable and satisfying life.

Then one day another chocolate rumor surfaces, and this time it seems like it could be the real thing. Chocolate is returning, but there’s a catch. It is only available to you in one unexpected way. You can now have your nightly fix of chocolate, but only in the form of chocolate-covered broccoli (or insert one of your own least favorite foods here, whose match with chocolate might seem repulsive to you).

Well, that’s how I feel sitting here today imagining Carmelo Anthony as a member of the Chicago Bulls.

I’m glad he’s back, and future SportsAttic posts should be markedly more enjoyable as a result of his return to action. But the Bulls? Melo has landed in the broccoli. Yuck.

I mean, how intriguing will it be when Zach LaVine and Lauri Markkanen become annoyed by Melo’s unwillingness to share the ball? Or when Robin Lopez throws his hands up in disgust when Melo’s time-honored, matador-style of defense allows another uncontested drive into the paint for an easy two? Or when whoever coaches the Bulls these days tries to sugarcoat how Melo has destroyed team chemistry, recognizing that when his team is going to finish 50 games below .500, chemistry by definition is already pretty darn bad.

Oh well. At least he’s back, and there’s still time before the trade deadline to see Melo  shipped somewhere where his coach killing ways can derail yet another contender. Here’s hoping.

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And speaking of irrelevant, is there anyone out there who actually thinks the Knicks can come up with a viable way to entice the Pelicans to trade them Anthony Davis?

How about offering up the entire New York roster? Yes, everyone goes. Assistant coaches, the training staff, the entire supply closet full of balls, towels and shower sandals.

Heck, we can fill in around AD with castoffs from the G League and waiver wire pickups and the Knicks will immediately become more competitive. They’ve lost 21 of their last 23 in Knickerbocker-land, and you can’t tell me The Brow and four guys from the Bayonne YMCA won’t match that record between now and season’s end.

Okay, I acknowledge that trading an entire roster is probably unrealistic.

But something is going to have to give here, don’t you agree? Will The Association allow Davis and his agent (shamelessly shilling for his meal ticket, LeBron) to orchestrate the big center’s trade to LaLa Land?

I sure hope not.

The fine print in the CBA has ruled out the Celtics as a bidder until this summer, so the obvious stop for AD is Los Angeles. Yet that seems too easy. Such an obvious and  preposterous ratings grab would even manage to embarrass the shameless NBA offices if such a trade were consummated.

Instead, what the league should do is go all in on the two-fer of all two-fers. A double-whammy of epic proportion.

First, Commissioner Adam Silver must step up authoritatively in defense of his league’s balance of power, and put a stop to this decade-long sham of allowing LBJ to dictate roster formations. The Commish needs to strike down any Lakers trade attempt for AD. Period.

David Stern set the precedent for such blunt-force authority back when he said  “no, eff YOU” to Chris Paul, when the me-first point guard tried to send himself to the Lakers and sneak into title contention. C’mon Adam, it will feel good to retake control back from The King. Dontcha think?

And second, still drunk with the power he’s just reclaimed from LeBron, Silver should  proceed to address the second-most obvious problem with his league today — the abject embarrassment taking place nightly at the World’s Most Famous Arena. .

Force the trade, Adam Silver. Anthony Davis to New York.

In return make the Knickerbockers give up Enes Kanter (more on him in a second), Tim Hardaway (even if the Knicks have to eat a big piece of next year’s contract — which they totally deserve after signing him to that ludicrous free agent deal a year ago, overpaying by $20 mill for a guy nobody wanted), Frank Ntilikina (poor kid — never had a chance after Big Chief Triangle made him the final and lasting symbol of his New York City futility), Mitchell Robinson, and next year’s lottery pick (which will likely be a top three  slot).

Sub in Kristaps Porzingis, if you must, for the draft pick, but understand the following will undoubtedly happen given this is the Knicks we are talking about:

  1. If New York trades their 2019 lottery pick, there is no way it doesn’t turn into the first pick in the draft, and Zion Williamson will become a Hall of Famer.
  2. If the Knicks choose to keep the pick, it will be no better than the number three slot after the lottery ping pong balls find their landing spots (residue of the Patrick Ewing deal with the devil consummated back in the summer of 1985).
  3. If they send Porzingis to the Pelicans and keep the pick, The Unicorn will come back at 100 percent health next season, and put up 25 and 10, on the way to a legendary career that will make him the toast of the Big Easy when he retires 20 years from now and gets elected mayor.
  4. Mitchell Robinson will completely dominate AD every time the Pelicans face the Knicks for the next 10 years.

And Anthony Davis as a New York Knick? Wellll…

Let me start by throwing a few big man savior names at you from Knickerbockers rosters of years past:

*Bob McAdoo

*Spencer Haywood

*Marvin Webster

*Amare Stoudamire

*Carmelo

(I’d add Walt Bellamy here, but they traded him for Dave DeBuschere before he could formally be called a mistake, ushering in the salad years we all thought would never end back in the early-’70’s.)

Right now you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who considers The Brow to be anything less than a Top 5 player in the entire NBA. And to that I offer you two words:

Dwight

Howard

I know, I know. That’s not fair to Davis, who’s head and shoulders more talented, with a far more diverse skillset, than Dwight Howard in his prime. But it wasn’t that long ago that everybody loved Howard, too.

And we are talking about the Knicks here.

Force the trade anyway, Commissioner Silver. If Davis morphs into Medical Bill Cartwright on the plane ride into Gotham, the Knicks can’t be any worse off than the putrid squad we are currently being forced to watch.

Plus, it’s hard to imagine even David Fizdale being able to concoct a reason to sit The Brow game after game.

Which brings us to:

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Enes Kanter.

Double-Double machine. Tireless offensive rebounder. Enforcer and fearless protector of teammates. Exuding an intensity that somehow comes across as joyous while running up  and down the court, never wanting to take a seat.

Nope, Fiz isn’t putting a guy like that on the floor. Not when he’s got Luke Kornet.

The league just fined Anthony Davis $50,000 because his agent violated tampering rules, yet they ignore Fizdale’s blatant nightly tanking. Explain that to me.

Do they not care because of this new rule where the three most awful teams all have an equal shot at the lottery’s first pick? There has to be a reason, because otherwise I don’t see how the league can sit idly by while New York’s best player (subjective for sure, but tell me who’s a better player on this woeful roster) and fan favorite gathers dust on the bench. Meanwhile, the Knicks continue to lose at a record pace.

Do something, somebody!

Free Enes and get him to a contender in time to make a difference come playoff time (Brooklyn?). And if the Knicks can somehow come away with Anthony Davis while this wrong is righted, that’s all the better. But ignoring Fizdale’s horrific management of this situation is plain wrong on every level.

Are you listening, Adam Silver?

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